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Letter to the Dean of Students 11-15-03 Dear Dr. Gustafson, Around May towards the end of spring quarter last year, I visited home because I was burnt out from schoolwork, and I was still a little upset over my breakup. I wanted to talk to someone and get things off my chest. My mom called around, and the only place that could offer any immediate hearing was Parkview Behavior Center of Fort Wayne. We went for what we thought was an evaluation. Upon hearing my stories of having to stay up late most nights doing homework, the doctor, without any other reason, diagnosed me as having manic depressive bipolar disorder, and placed me on Paxil, Depakote, and Zyprexa. While taking those medications I gained 40 pounds within two months, and generally slept more than 12 hours every day. In the middle of the summer, late June or July, my mom pleaded with the doctor. The medicines he had prescribed were making me a total zombie. I was having various physical and emotional side effects, of which I was warned of none of them, I could feel very little in the ways of positive or negative feelings at the time, and everything was just blended and suppressed. I could exist, but I did little else. The doctor switched my medication to Depakote and Effexor. I'd like to note that I was not depressed at the time, yet I was given medications for people who are clinically and dangerously depressed without any reason outside of a chemical imbalance. At the time, I exhibited no signs of bipolar disorder. Within a month, my ability to feel negative feelings returned, and my ability to feel positive feelings completely disappeared. I was incapable of feeling love or warmth. Listening to my favorite music and watching my favorite movies evoked none of the feelings they once did. I became clinically anhedonic. As a result of this, the doctor continued me on this medication and doubled my dose to four times the drug manufacturer's recommended dosage. My symptoms worsened. I knew I was not myself; I hated how I was unable to feel anything pleasurable. The doctor said this was caused by my own self-suppression, but I was trying very hard every day to face the rapidly negative feelings and emotions that were consuming me. By mid-July, I attempted to stop taking the medicine. I was sick of its affects on me. Within a week, I became terribly ill, nauseated, and constantly dizzy, I suffered cold sweats, and felt random body pains. After three days of these unrelenting and ever-worsening conditions, I decided to go back on the medication, and within a day all of these symptoms dissipated. I was forced to continue taking a medication that was destroying who I was. By mid-August I developed severe gastrointestinal bleeding and hemorrhoids. I desperately tried to surround myself in positive things, but everything I attempted only seemed like a faint black and white memory of things I once enjoyed. I suppose the rest you already know. I went to Rose, and spent a week with people I consider my friends, whom I care about very much. School began, the schoolwork was too much for me in my burnt out state, and I uncharacteristically became completely hopeless and suicidal. I met with Eric Hayes, and we collectively decided that I shouldn't go to classes anymore. We planned for me to have a Co-op position, which I really wanted. The only reason I was stressed was because schoolwork was pushing me into the wee hours of the night. A co-op would be 8 hours and then quits for the day. It was their encouraging and not mine alone, to stop going to classes, I think there was a miscommunication there. I had never in my life developed suicidal ideations. I went home. The stressors were all gone. But I continued to get worse. After writing the letter, I was hospitalized for a full week, and I have been meeting with a counselor every week since. I was taken off the medication while I was in the hospital, and I got sick again, just like when I tried to go off the medication myself a few months earlier. The hospital documented my resting heart rate at 130 BPM. Two weeks after being off the medication, I had to go to the emergency room because my completely relaxed resting heart rate was still at an elevated 100 BPM, and I was starting to get fluttery feelings in my chest and severe dizziness. I had uncontrollable shakes, and I felt like my heart was beating out of its chest. Both my father and I have a mitro-valve prolapse, and I was concerned that the elevated heart rate for so long could have been dangerous, because I certainly didn't feel very good at the time. As of writing this, I have been off the medication for a total of five weeks. The clinical anhedonia melted away a few short weeks after I stopped taking the medication; it was not my own mental suppression that was causing it but the medicine itself. I can think as clearly as ever, and I am becoming a little restless having spent the past two months alone at home, with no friends or academic challenges (outside of the ones I have created for myself). I feel like myself again. I took a 400+ question psychological profile under my counselor, and there were no signs of depression, suicidal ideation, manic depression, or any other psychological problem, for that matter. Please review some of the information at the end of this letter regarding Effexor and its clinically documented affects on people. I was never once warned of any of this. Below is one of the many links I have found regarding Effexor. http://www.yourlawyer.com/practice/overview.htm?topic=Effexor I thank you very much for your time and consideration in reading this. Sincerely, Mike Miller Jr. Evidence I have gathered to date: Anti-depressant drugs' greatest danger is their evocation of suicidal and/or homicidal feelings and behavior; both teenagers who attacked their fellow students at Columbine happened to be taking anti-depressants. Another danger from "feel-good" drugs is the creation of dependency or addiction. Psychiatry has badly mishandled depression in its all-consuming reliance on drugs as the first line of treatment. ("Drug Treatment for Depression is Dead Wrong," by Nathaniel S. Lehrman, the former Clinical director of the Kingsboro Psychiatric Center in Boston, NY. - in Red Flags Weekly, August 15, 2002) Author's comment: other news items have made the statement that those people who have committed many of the horrendous crimes these past few years were on psychiatric drugs for depression. "But the studies did show that when it comes to having suicidal thoughts, 2 percent of those on Effexor had them, compared with none on the placebo. With hostility or aggressive behavior, the numbers were 2 percent on Effexor and 1 percent on a placebo." Sara Boseley from the Guardian has once again written a great article on the withdrawal effects of the SSRIs. The following statement confirms what I have been saying for years: Effexor sales rose 41 percent to $593.5 million for the quarter. The Effexor line had sales of $1.16 billion in 2000. Effexor XR was approved in July 2000 for a new label change - the long-term treatment of generalized anxiety disorder - and received new labeling in May 2001 for the prevention of major depressive disorder relapse. The Effexor line is expected to have sales of $1.42 billion in 2001, $1.71 billion in 2002, $1.99 billion in 2003, $2.24 billion in 2004, and $2.47 billion in 2005. PHARMACEUTICALS |